It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
