C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
