Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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