Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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