You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
