I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
