More tranny stories later!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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