for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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