Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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