Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
