just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
A+ Viking dick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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