Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
