He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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