Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
