The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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