Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
