What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize