pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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