So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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