You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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