I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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