her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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