WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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