put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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