Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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