if you like me you must not know who I am
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
