I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
