Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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