i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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