I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
