he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize