Duck Duck Cougar?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
