So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
