$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
