I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That accounts for only three of the penises
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
