your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
