Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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