I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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