He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize