Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
