forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
