u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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