her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize