Your tits are I can't wait for
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
