I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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