We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
