i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
