I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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