Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
