Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
