I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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