I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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