idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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