I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
