Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
