We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
