i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
