Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
