You really coming over, don't trick.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
