okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
