ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
