I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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