what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
handjob tips. give me some.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
